Not that anyone deserves anything.

Last night my boyfriend asked me to marry him. Never in a million years would I have ever thought myself to be the marrying kind.

It’s funny how we came across each other. I had actually seen him before we met because he works next door to my favorite bookstore. It closed down two winters ago. But before it did I used to trek the forty-five miles to there just to bury myself in books and then go next door and eat where he works dozens upon dozens of times. The last time was before in closed down, sometime in November I believe. They had thirty percent off clearance so I grabbed as many Buddhist and philosophy books as I could afford and saw him upstairs as I went to pay. Let me preface by saying though I do have an outstanding memory, I only remember people worth remembering. And he was.

He ended up coming across me online somehow last July and messaged me. Instantly he looked familiar and though it took a bit of details and realizing where he worked, I remembered. Though I didn’t tell him until many months later. I remembered his glasses (even though they were ones he no longer wore), his scruffy beard, the color shirt and pants he was wearing, and those kind eyes. I have a terrible weakness for kind eyes and not everyone has them. They say a lot about a person, and it held true for him. When I told him about it he said that he would always go there on break, all matter of fact-like. It was something so small and such a fleeting moment, but stayed burned into my memory somehow.

He’s honestly the best man I have ever met in my life. Before I met him I never considered myself to be a very happy person. There were many reasons for that and ones I couldn’t see myself getting past. But unknowingly he got me out of that. Ever since I met him he dragged me out of the darkness and made me happy. Happier than I ever could imagine, and happier than I would have ever thought I deserve. Since the first time we spoke on the phone he has told me goodnight every single night. That may sound simple and silly, but almost a year year later hearing ”goodnight miss” still makes me grin ear to ear every night before bed. When I’ve been sad he’s driven an hour in the middle of the night just to give me a hug. And when I’m happy, more times than not it’s simply because his presence just makes life better. Brighter, more hopeful, and the future less scary. I look forward to moving with him in a couple months and whatever else lies ahead.

And it’s funny writing this on my phone while he snores next to me in bed. I even look forward to more of that.